feeling like giving up.....former DBing against OW

[imthemom]

I know it sounds ridiculouse for me to even consider it...He has not felt any remorse for leaving us high and dry and has repeatedly told me no when I have asked for help. And when I think about the fact that he has the nerve to call crying to me of all people about how hard it will be for HIM.....
But then I know myself, and Ive thought that the amount they came up with was kind of over the top from the first time i saw it, but my L said that the computer doesnt lie, she double checked the numbers for me. Im so freaken co dependent that Im worried about how hes going to react when I say no, im not going to take less. Even though ive been telling myself that Im not going to have any expectations from all this attention he has been giving me, i obviousley have because Im terrified to find out that it was all crap!!..and he was jerking me around...and then Im back to being crushed again.
OR...its not and he will just except the fact that this is what he wanted and these are the consequences for what he wanted...I told him i would look at some things and let him know if I would except his offer...i dont know if I should just have my L call him or send him an email and just say hey, i know you think its a lot but its out of my hands and I have to look out for me and S14 now. I am just going to take my time...decide how I want to respond. Im not in a hurry to jump on this right now...