Just wanted to let you know that your H is saying almost the exact same things as mine.
E.g.: H said: "Fine. Why don't you just make the plan and tell me what it is because I suggested a time and you have to go off and point out all thats wrong with it. It's really frustrating!" (his voice was raised and he had anger in his eyes.)
I get this if I mention ANYTHING, at all, that does not involve absolute agreement with what he says. He is primed to be furious.
Sometimes he even reacts this way to general chitchat from me.
E.g., once, while out driving, I said "Gee look at that!", referring to the car in front of us that had a huge canoe perched precariously on its roof.
H responded with "Don't worry, I'm not going to hit it. I wish you would stop criticising my driving; it really pisses me off".
Also, my H has gone through phases where he says that he doesn't want to be in *this* house.
At one point a few weeks ago, he took to sitting out on the front wall of the porch rather than coming inside when he came to see the kids. It's as if he can't cross the threshold without some strange effect taking hold of him. He has said that the house is not his (I owned it before we met) and he doesn't want to be in it.
Anyway, please know that your H's behaviours are running to script in these regards.
My new mantra for dealing with this is LAV: Listen, Accept, Validate (suggested by BM) and I keep reminding myself NOT TO ENGAGE IN DISCUSSION when I think things need to be disputed or thrashed out.
I'm with BM on this - kill 'em with kindness, because they're angry and they've checked out, and nothing in the way of resistance will do any good at all.
