feeling like giving up.....former DBing against OW

[imthemom]

Going to second Al Anon meeting tonight while S14 attends Al Ateen across the hall. kind of excited to see his reaction..I was so relieved after my first meeting. Im wondering what he will take away from it.

Havent heard much in response to any of my recent post but have a dilemma that im facing and thinking threw...would like to get some other perspectives on it.

H finally called after looking at settlement papers and wanted to talk about them. I told him I didnt feel comfortable talking to him about the financial stuff, he should call my L. but he ended up getting me into a conversation that mainly consisted of him telling me how he couldnt live on what he would be left with if he paid me what the state is saying he should pay. Im trying really hard to not be spitefull but i have a hard time forgetting how xmas went with my kids, and how we are living now which is pretty much still hand to mouth.
He made an offer that was probabley not reasonable..i have to check some things. Im going to have to start paying for medical out of my paycheck and other things.

Heres my dilemma...H wanted this D. I tried my best to stop it and he was firm from the beginning. I still dont want it. Im working on the fact that I enabled him for the past 17 years and I dont want to do it anymore. If I agree to lower the amount, am I not enableing him again? He created this situation and then out of guilt im makeing it easier for him. Thats what it feels like...should he not have the full concequence of his actions like everyone else? I want to be the bigger person, i dont want to be spitefull. Or am i just afraid he will be mad at me if i dont agreee to lower the amount...theres the $100 question....He has been very friendly and borderline flirty with me...it crushes my heart to think that he is doing it to get what he wants, but the would be typical Alcoholic behavior..and he is definatley in the middle of a dry drunk.
thinking out loud...
would appreciate any feed back at all...