Need HOPE- part II

[PERSEVERANCE]

Hey Everyone, hope all is well with you, your families & DB efforts.
Just posting now to get these thoughts outa my head-- I feel badly that I haven't been able to keep up on sitch's. I've been crazy busy lately - getting back to work ( post-Afghanistan civilian career), juggling things with the kids, STBX ( ouch- hurts to say that), GAL, house, dog..... Luckily, I work from a "home-office" and have a bit of flexibility, because my W moved a few miles away & I am taking care of most of the family things as well as making the majority of the $.
Looks like the D is moving forward... very fast in this state. W & I see each other everyday. Often we go for walks, out for coffee,gym.... She won't tell many people about the D. She said that she wants to work on our R, but the D allows a fresh start for us & also protection for her in case I become "evil" and our efforts at reestablishing a new/better R fail " better to have an amicable D now than a bitter expensive D later"
In my state- I really don't have many options. Despite the advice of her L, she isn't asking for alimony, child support & she isn't taking 1/2 of my 401k or any of my military pension. I basically have the house,kids and pay for most of the household expenses.
Kids are doing well- which is a huge concern. I love my Boys. This whole situation seems so dysfunctional...I'm surprising myself, my C & my W about how well I'm taking it....The "old me" would have been full of rage at some of this stuff. Still a DB novice...
I need to keep myself from pursuing my W...so tough because our sitch is a bit unusual. I see progress...tiny amounts of sun through the storm clouds.
Not DB recommended ( my mistake) - But I asked my W to tell me if I have unreasonable hopes / expectations that we will be together again, re-married. She said it is reasonable, but we need to take it day by day, work on our individual issues & maybe in a year or two we will have a "sequel" ( sequel-thats what her C calls it- so I know that it has been a topic that she has been discussing with her Therapist) ...Yup, I procrastinated getting the DB coach. Its on my to-do list for next week. Still meeting with my IC, won't stop ever probably.
Grabbing late night coffee with one of my groups, hiking this weekend with another club & snowboarding with the KIds...W may come along to ski too. Yup- just another busy day with my happy dysfunctional semi-broken family. GALing a bunch, working my 180 so feels natural & is becoming the norm, also becoming a marrow donor ( my new pay it forward attitude- charma)working my DB - but still backslide sometimes... YOU my DB cyber-buddies know the pain, effort & heartache that I'm dealing with .... but still definitely making progress.I need to be satisfied with the thought that I have a better ME, but deep down I know that I would be happier with a better ME & my W.
So much to be thankful for!
Peace & Healing for your sitch's/Take care
P.