you have keen eyes and ears for not over-pursuing or over-initiating. when the time is right, as previous poster noted, it's all about starting small. very small!
let's look at the "negative information field", or things that have not or are not happening. W is not racing to complete divorce. W is not going out of her way to avoid you. we don't necessarily know what those things mean, but the more things like that you can put together, the more likely it is there's a reason behind the pattern.
let's say there is a marital distress continuum that each partner has. on that continuum, let's say, for arugment's sake, there is a mythical "point of no return" that some people reach. these would be the people that go through and complete their divorces. whether some of those could have been brought back to life by savvy DBers, we'll never know.
let's say, also for argument's sake, that there is a point just short of that where timely and thoughtful strategies and actions can put the relationship back in play. sometimes in these situations the potential walk away partner notices short term changes. they are intrigued, but still very, very cautious. and they really want to see if it will last before they show any intentional outward sign of interest in the relationship. it is possible you are in this position.
if so, give credit to yourself, as it means you've really done some things right - including not over-pursuing and your GALing. i hope these things really raise your stock of self-respect.
if you have the emotional resilience to keep your DB approach alive, let me offer or reinforce these ideas:
1) continue to be thoughtful about creating breathing room for you and W to reduce tension.
2) continue to look for small ways that you can change day to day living patterns and see what happens as a result. you don't even need an end result to target. the point is, do these things for the sake of doing them and observe results.
3) if you see improvements, don't move in too fast. i doubt you will - you seem very good at this part.
4) stay steady and do not get sucked into the repetition of ancient arguments or negative ways of interacting. that's the perfect time to be pro-active and show mastery of new dance steps.
and have a great time this weekend. you have great supporters here with lots of great ideas. i hope mine help as well.
