Rick, they were ours together. I originally didn't want the dog because of the amount of work and responsibility required. I finally relented about 2.5 years ago, figuring she wanted a dog more than I didn't want one. I've stepped up to the plate as far as the responsiblity. However, it offends me that she left me holding the bag, so to speak, while she washes her hands of the repsonsiblity and gets another pet. The other side of it is that I may be too tender hearted to pull the trigger and send of the pets I have packing.
My wife already had a cat when she moved in, then we adopted one last fall. She's left them here - I don't mind terribly, taking care of them isn't the hardest thing in the world and the company is nice But considering how much they meant to her it's odd she didn't take them with her.
Me: 36 Her: 35 Together 7/09 Married 8/7/10 Separate rooms since at least April 11 "I've decided I want a divorce" 12/5/11 She moves out of state/files 2/7/12 Dissolution final 5/12
I had only a brief interaction with my W last night before I did my Tuesday GAL activity of my Healing Relationships group at my church. I ended up calling her because I hadn't heard from her because she was coming to pick up my S. She had gotten tied up at work. Kind of funny, she had issues years ago with me getting tied up at work and being a little later than I wanted to be.
Had a great group meeting last night. It seemed to quell my anxiety I was feeling yesterday. Also, since I'm still the only guy in this group, it's very helpful to get the female perspective.
I get home last night, and my W's car is in the driveway. (She had texted but I missed it). She had spent the time with my S in the area and thought it would be easier for him to spend the night with than for her to take him to her apartment with her and turn around and bring him to school this morning. OK with me, it just meant I had my S for an extra night this week.
She also said that my S wanted to talk about the pet thing. During our conversation she openly admitted that she didn't think it through, that she had left behind 3 pets and a problematic situation. That tells me she really listened when we had our conversation on Monday evening. This is progress for us, as we always tended to sweep issues under the carpet. It was a 180 for me that I called her out on it and presented my perspective. Actually it was a 180 for her not to just be defensive from the outset. I'm seeing positives with this particular incident, regardless of what happens in the end. Hopefully this positive wasn't just an isolated incident. We didn't come to a conclusion on what we're going to do, but the important thing to me was we talked about it. I thanked my W for listening and bringing up the topic when she was on her way out.
This morning it was 28 degrees out. I got a 3 mile and change run in. Or as I told someone else, I ran for over 5300 yards this morning.
I'm feeling considerably better today than yesterday.
She also said that my S wanted to talk about the pet thing. During our conversation she openly admitted that she didn't think it through, that she had left behind 3 pets and a problematic situation. That tells me she really listened when we had our conversation on Monday evening. This is progress for us, as we always tended to sweep issues under the carpet. It was a 180 for me that I called her out on it and presented my perspective. Actually it was a 180 for her not to just be defensive from the outset. I'm seeing positives with this particular incident, regardless of what happens in the end. Hopefully this positive wasn't just an isolated incident. We didn't come to a conclusion on what we're going to do, but the important thing to me was we talked about it. I thanked my W for listening and bringing up the topic when she was on her way out.
This is a great example of when one person changes, the dynamics of the relationship change. I hope that it isn't an isolated incident either, but a glimmer of what the future may look like.
Glad to hear you are doing well today JB.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
JB, Good deal, small positives. When we're new we'd have rented a truck to move em back in.....Now we know to encourage and look for the next small step while guarding our hearts.
Slow, consistent, patient.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
This is a great example of when one person changes, the dynamics of the relationship change. I hope that it isn't an isolated incident either, but a glimmer of what the future may look like.
Thanks LITB. I agree with you whole-heartedly. If this is a sign of a turnaround, it's a very, very small sign and we have a long, long, long way to go. I know I will be OK regardless of how this all turns out. I just keep asking God for direction on where He wants me to go with this. I just keep getting the message to stay the course. I just have to keep going one day at a time.
When we're new we'd have rented a truck to move em back in..
Ain't that the truth! But it's amazing how if you can use the journey to work on yourself, you really start to get a better and better picture of what you really want in a relationship.
Originally Posted By: JustStunned
Now we know to encourage and look for the next small step while guarding our hearts.
Not too much additional to report from Wednesday, and that's not a bad thing. My Mom came down and made dinner for my S and me. Bonus!
On Wednesday, I did get an invite from Tuesday night church group that they are going to a singles' event at another church. It's happening tonight. It may be fun, but I felt pretty conflicted over that. I still married on paper at least. As of right now, I am not going, but that also means I may just be staying home. It's all right, though, because I think I could use a break.
Work's been extremely busy, and yesterday was no exception. Being swamped does tend to improve my focus. My W and I missed each yesterday, so there was no contact with my W yesterday. I had my Men's group at church last night as my GAL'ing activity. Another fantastic group meeting. I had decided ahead of time to get my exercise in after my group meeting. By the time I got home and got some things done, it was a little after midnight before I got out there. I was relegated to walking last night because the temperature was in the mid 20s and I'm still letting my body recover from my last run. I walked 4.3 miles. I decided to take the dog with me, too, so at least it looked like I had an excuse for being out there that late.
Today I am working from home. I smuggled in Chipotle once again for my S and ate lunch with my fifth grade friends.
Today I am working from home. I smuggled in Chipotle once again for my S and ate lunch with my fifth grade friends.
This never gets old. Every time I read you doing this, I just can't help getting a huge grin on my face, seeing you sitting there at lunch, in those small chairs and tables, and talking about transformers or pokemon or farting or whatever kids talk about these days... lol!
But considering how much they meant to her it's odd she didn't take them with her.
(She had texted but I missed it). She had spent the time with my S in the area and thought it would be easier for him to spend the night with than for her to take him to her apartment with her and turn around and bring him to school this morning. OK with me, it just meant I had my S for an extra night this week. 
I was relegated to walking last night because the temperature was in the mid 20s and I'm still letting my body recover from my last run. I walked 4.3 miles. I decided to take the dog with me, too, so at least it looked like I had an excuse for being out there that late. 
This never gets old. Every time I read you doing this, I just can't help getting a huge grin on my face, seeing you sitting there at lunch, in those small chairs and tables, and talking about transformers or pokemon or farting or whatever kids talk about these days... lol!