It seems clear to me that your W's love language is receiving gifts and yours is physical touch. Yet she has probably always spoken to you in her love language instead of yours. And I would guess you have always done the same thing?
Is there a way given the circumstances of your present sitch, to speak to your wife in her love language? Maybe a thoughtful book, a nice plant that reminds her of the coming spring or a bag of carrots for the horses. Something not too personal, but thoughtful nonetheless?
If done in carefully measured doses, it might not be interpreted as pursuit.
Just something to consider.....
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
2tp I don't think she would be receptive to anything at this time.
Journaling
Today it hit me that this is real and have to accept it. Last night W and I had dinner and she laughed at some of my political jokes. Last night was the 2nd time while watching TV where Divorce was the topic. They were talking about Newt and the 2 Ds he went through. They were talking about the expenses and the emotional cost to children. I know she heard it.
This morning I got up earlier to leave for work. Saw W for about 3 minutes and told her to have a good day, she said the same. She has stopped having breakfast with me but continues to eat dinner. She continues to leave the front light on for when I get home and asks me what I need from the supermarket. She no longer stays away from the same shared space. I guess these are some positives.
This week 2 different people asked for my weight loss secret. Had to come up with quick lies. The gave me looks of disbelief. Told them I work out more, walk more, stopped eating bread, which is true. Did not tell them that when this happen I could barely eat. Tha's for me to know.
Galing this weekend entails church car maintenance and BBQ at my brother's house. And ofcourse some Xbox. That is all for now
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
1895 guess you should thank your S, huh? I know mine is low because I mostly play multiplayer. And taking the head off of anything is relaxing, I agree.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Actually most of mine is mine. He has his own live acct. And he is much more of a gamer than I am.
We have spent countless hours playing together, and some on line. We have pretty much worn out one set of Rock Band controllers and I wish I owned stock in a battery company throughout this. It was time well spent though, and I'm sure we aren't finished yet !!! I would certainly be one Bluemach1 if we didn't have that time together in the past. He has certainly taken it a bit farther than I ever did though.
My D and I loved Rock Band. She is so good with the drums that she destroyed them. She actually plays many different instruments and is very good. We play together often which is cool. We will prob do that tonite.
Well I have many games but the ones I play the most are COD Balck Ops, MW2 MW3, Battle Field 3. I also play online with my 17 y/o nephew and his friends but they have more fingers and eyes than I do?
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
This morning I got up earlier to leave for work. Saw W for about 3 minutes and told her to have a good day, she said the same. She has stopped having breakfast with me but continues to eat dinner. She continues to leave the front light on for when I get home and asks me what I need from the supermarket. She no longer stays away from the same shared space. I guess these are some positives.
Rick, you have to save up the small positives while (like JS said on my thread) guarding your heart. It could the first small signs of a turnaround or it could be nothing. You have the freedom to choose whether something's a positive or negative, so why not choose the positive?
One big positive, though, is everything you've done for yourself. You would have never done those things for yourself unless you had been pushed into the situation you're in. You have used this negative situation to your advantage. Good for you!
