how about you start by literally taking a couple of deep breaths....and then read on.
your biggest risk at this point is that you will over-pursue your H and drive him into solidifying a position of wanting out. plus, desperation is not exactly an appealing quality is it? i'm saying that playfully, not critically. but that's true, no?
at the same time, i know how very hard it can be not to feel panic stricken and desperate. and that is one of the reasons you need to work on a GAL strategy. you need to move on this and move fast i think - otherwise you are at risk for a downward spiral of wallowing. the good news: i believe you can GAL and really begin to respect yourself for it.
i encourage you, then, to do two things. first, think about what your life would look like if it were just the way you wanted it (aside from the relational part with your husband). then identify the things you would need to do - very specific things - to get there. what would those things be?
secondly, make a list of 10 random things - small things - that you've never done or want to do - and do them within the next week. do two of them today.
as you are doing these different things, please observe whether your H is initiating any discussions about your relationship. if he is, see what happens when you mostly listen to what he says, validate his point of view and then let him know you really want some time to think about what he said before you reply or comment. if he is not initiating conversations, then let that be for a while. that can be so hard in this situation, but - once again - i believe you can do it.
does this help you roroinMD? please post and let me know....
