W then told me plans for the weekend - in-laws will be taking D7 & D10 Sat AM and coming back Sun PM. I find this a little frustrating as she doesn't discuss with me, just tells me what the plans are. I know the girls will have fun - so I don't say anything, but checking with me - "do you have any plans with the girls" would be nice.
I think that SHOULD be a conversation that you have with her.
This is something that obviously bothers you, so why not say what you feel about it ?
From what I read, your in-laws have a free pass to their Grandchildren much of the time anyway. I mean, your MIL gets paid ( by the state) to watch her anyway....right ?
I would state your feelings on this.
Something along the lines of....
I understand that your parents enjoy spending time with the girls. However, I ask you to please keep in mind, that when these types of plans are being made, I would like to be considered before they are finalized. This is the only time I have to give my undivided time to them, and I would appreciate my relationship with them to be taken into consideration.
Pete,
One of the things you are going to have a DAILY battle with, is the entitlement from your wife. She has been a SAHM for them so long, that she is really going to feel like she is the sole owner of them. And you are going to have to establish FIRM boundaries with her about you being their Father.
And I can assure you, that IF you don't start attacking some of these little battles, you will lose the war.
You just have to remain calm, and don't let her head spinning around, affect the fact that you have just as much say as she does....
State your argument with as little abrasiveness as possible, yet stand your ground and do not get engaged in anything other than your boundary with this.
She will probably try to turn the topic to something other than what it is. Be aware of that, and don't let it wander.
Keep on point, and walk away if it gets out of hand.
Things are going to change for her through all of this. She is under the impression that it is all for HER good. Well , the news cameras are rolling in now. There are changes coming that will affect her the other way too.
And it's not your job to cushion that fall for her. Nor is it your job to force that fall.
It is the reality of situation she has asked for.....
