PS: Pur... I have found strength but I will breathe this out loud on this board.... I think part of it is fueled by hope that things *might* change when he sees me in person. This could be a fatal mistake and I could be setting myself up to crash!
So I am really trying to check my head/soul/body and stay in reality of "we are broken up... it's over" for now. Then the fall won't be so far when he comes home and it stays that way.
