Compassion for a MLCer

[broken5150]

I know you are hurting and you think I'm busting your chops.

I just want your journey to be more inward and NOT at all about her or OM.

25, Im a very humble person. I appreciate any and ALL advice given to me. I come here not only to vent but to receive advice.

One thing that you and Mach keep telling me (and its VERY true), is that Im ANGRY! Yes, Im VERY ANGRY. And I dont like feeling that way. Now, here's the humble side of me talking... I know its all MY fault. Im letting her do this. However, im stuck between a rock and a hard place. And one piece of advice that Ive been needing and that I have NOT asked her is how to deal with W using my kids to get her way.

Example... Thursday nights is pizza night. I go to a local restaurant that the owner knows me well. He gives me a 25% discount off my ticket. Last Thursday, my S13 was not feeling well so I took D9 and S4 to eat pizza. While we were eating, W texts me and ask me to get S13 pizza from Papa Johns and that he wanted 2 large pies. In other words, buy him, OM and his freinds pizza. I replied to her and said no. If wants pizza, I will get it for him from the current restaurant we were eating at. OM gets her phone and texts me saying "Dont worry buddy, I'll buy your son his pizza"

That is just a small example of what I deal almost on a daily basis.

Yesterday, I texted W and asked her to please have the kids ready for church rehearsals. She told me that D9 and S4 were going and that S13 was at a Hoop it up tournament.

When I asked her with who is he with, she didnt reply. I called S13 and he told me he was with OM in his car ALONE!!!!

WTF!!! We had an agreement that we would NOT leave any of the kids unattended with any other person!

Our S13 is a special needs boy. He is autistic and has lesions in his brain from complications in early development. There is a risk that he might start having seizures!

If God forbid something were to happen under this mans supervision, what would happen?!?

OM is 26 years old and doesnt know the first thing about handeling a situation like this!

When I told W that she was nuts and why did she allow this, she told me not to come to the house or she will put a restraining order on me. I made NO threats what so ever!

25, lord knows Im trying. I go to counseling 3x a month and I have a strong support group at church. Considering that shes done all of this and I have not OVER reacted, I would say that a good portion of the battle has been won.

I know I shouldnt, but every day I keep asking myself how did such a good woman and mother make such a complete 180??? What the heck does she see in OM? What does OM want with a woman 11 years older, 3 kids and her mother???

It looks like I signed up for the complete package huh?

Yesterday, I feel like I hit my rock bottom. Ive been brain storming all day to see how Im going to handle this.

Ive been very foolish in waiting and hoping that she would come to her senses. Not for me, but now, for her kids. Again, that is my fault for having these rediculous expectations.

I dont want to sound like Rodney Dangerfield, but Im really getting no respect at all!

I have allot of blessings and I have all the tools to help me recover from this mess and Im simply NOT USING THEM!

25, I take all the advice that you and Mach give me VERY seriously. Having the advice is one thing, but putting them into effect is a totally different story. Im my own worst enemy when it comes to that. Ive been doing the same things for a year and Ive been expecting different outcomes.

Im going back to the drawing board and to the medicine cabinet for a Tylenol!

I thank the both of you very much!

Let see what I come up with...