I know sometimes it helps to understand the context of the people weighing in here. After a period of concerted DB'ing by me, my W agreed that she would be open to reconciling.

During that initial period, she would tell me almost daily that there was no guarantee that this would work and I needed to be prepared to live on my own. She told me that kissing me felt "bad", and that she wouldn't hug me and didn't want me to hug her.

She hurt me more than I thought it was possible to be hurt, and when I needed her most to help me heal, she gave me the "talk to the hand".

Although she said she was "open to reconciling", she was far from committed.

I eventually got to committed with her, but only through repeatedly demonstrating that my changes were permanent, my 180's were real, and my commitment to the marriage was "all in"

Accuray

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015