Light at the end of the tunnel......

[cat04]

It does sound like your W has done a great job of setting up services for your D...

I am glad she is on the HCB waiver. It seems to fund the most stuff. And you are correct the hours can be split as needed between the two homes.

Depending on the economy in the future, and whatever changes happen between now and then in the government, when your D reaches 21, she will be eligible for more services that aren't available to her right now through the waiver.

Your MIL could possibly continue providing all of the hours if that was something you were agreeable to, however, it could be a conflict of interest as well.

It is something that I would recommend you speaking to the Coordinator fairly soon about, because as you know, these changes take time to implement, and it is something that you and your W are going to have to discuss.

The important thing is your D getting good and consistent care while you and mom get some much needed time to live and spend one on one time with your other D.

So get on finding a provider for those other 8 hours, that is important.

I know it is hard to find someone that can be trusted. I watched as one of my clients parents searched for weekend help for a long time for her D. It took over two years to find one that was not only reliable but actually really good and trustworthy. There are good providers out there. You just have to really look. Take your time. Interview the providers and ask to talk to other families they worked with.

Remember that YOU and your W are your D's biggest advocates. Don't ever be afraid to fight for her.

Because of this I will suggest that you and W consider some sort of coparenting while D course or counseling. It really is imperative that you both can continue to remain on the same page where your D and her medical and emotional needs are concerned.

While I was very selective in the people I chose to provide services to, I interviewed many and more often than not, in situations where the parents were D'd, one parent was often the primary and almost sole caregiver and the other parent was pretty nonexistent in the disabled child's life.

I am glad that you seem to want the responsibility of both of your children and aren't letting her CP stop you from being a parent.

Additionally, I want to comment on CS. Yes CS will have to be paid right now, however, in my experience, it won't be lifetime. Based on the fact that when your D reaches the age of 18 she will be considered a legally competent (although unable to sign) adult, unless you go to court and have her declared incompetent. (Which costs thousands of dollars and isn't as easy as you would think) It isn't automatic simply because she is disabled. It requires statements from three different medical professionals and the approval of a judge. Additionally, this will mean that you may at some point, be advised to disinherit her so that she can continue to receive all of her benefits and services after you and your W die because she will not be able to have any assets in her name, although a Special Needs Trust can be set up, which will NOT (at least as of right now) keep her from receiving Medicaid benefits.

Anyway, I will post more later. I need to go make dinner