thank you imthemom.. its just one more of the mountains i need to climb.. thanks for reminding me its normal... can I go to sleep and wake up tomorrow?
m 41 h 44 d 17 (prev marriage) d 9 Never give up!!!!!
On my really bad days, which usually come when S14 is with his dad for the weekend and Im alone, I am all for a sleeping pill, a good sad movie and my bed!!...but those times are coming fewer and further in between..and trust me, there was a time that I thought they would never end much less be spaced out..:) I know thats not really dealing with it very well, and def not DB lol...but gawd, there are just times that I dont want to think about it already!!
Me:48 H:42 M: 18 yrs. S: 9/1/09 due to alcoholic H D bomb: 9/9/11 OW confirmed 10/30/11 D papers filed 11/01/11 S15 S21(Special needs) S28
Look to yourself, It is there that all your answers are found...
yeah.. my bad days seem to have no reasoning behind them... h rarely takes d anymore, ( he has seen her 1 time in a month.) she is suffering and starting to really act out.. but all I can do is love her and be here for her...
for me mornings are the worst, its like waking up and re living the night mare of last august... only now I see how much time has past, i never believed it would last this long... thats the tough part for me..
but as the day progresses, i get a little stronger. sometimes i even start to feel a little angry.. not alot angry its not an emotion im good at... sad.. i have mastered that emotion... happy that is usually me... funny really he describes me as very negative.. I really dont see myself that way and make a conscience effort to not say anything remotely negative when I speak to him...
day by day, i guess...
m 41 h 44 d 17 (prev marriage) d 9 Never give up!!!!!
Continued my GAL this weekend... felt good to have some adult interaction.. feels good to smile, laugh and be with friends..I am feeling myself grow, which I think is good.
I have set a personal goal for myself, I will seriously focus on finding a new job.. I am very good at what I do, but the economy is not so good.. so I will take my skills and apply to new positions... this will not "fix" me, however it will allow for my career to become more rewarding...
I spent yesterday watching some football with friends... it was fun and i find that my kids actually are encouraging me to get out. kinda weird, but they like mom smiling, and laughing...
I am feeling pretty good today.
m 41 h 44 d 17 (prev marriage) d 9 Never give up!!!!!
