First of all, Accuray - thanks for your two scenarios. Yes, option 2 sounds definitely better. If/when I'm ready to talk about OW to H, I might just steal what you wrote. Maybe some day I could write H a letter so that I don't forget anything and it doesn't blow out of proportion until all is said.
BklynMom - I agree with you that now is not the time to say anything about OW. As hard as it is on me right now, I'm still trying to digest it all and it sure is a hard pill to swallow. I guess my take was that if he knew that I'm still open to making the marriage work, would that change anything for him? Right now he knows that he f***** up, but he's still trying to justify it. I need to know what his stance is on our R, that he is committed.
The earlier comment about the Real Housewives of NH made me laugh. I don't watch the TV show, but I can only imagine the drama. No, I definitely don't want to be THAT. And the reference to Maria Shriver is a good one. It must be that much more difficult to be in the public eye when all of this happens. Or how about Hillary Clinton when the whole Lewinsky thing happened. She, too, was able to hold her head high and with grace she remained in the public eye...even to the extent of running for President! I want her therapist!!
Just one more day to get through until I have a break from H. The newest info is still too fresh and I still feel sick to my stomach, can't eat much, and go through periods of anxiety and feel my heart racing. I just keep remembering that OW is a distraction and annoyance and that it's not a competition. Although I do think that I'm WAY better and H is stupid for having any kind of feelings for OW. As one of my friends has told me that she's seen how men look at me, it brings me a little comfort that I still got it But it doesn't make this situation any better.
I really wish I could afford a DB coach. But in times like these when I need to think about the possibility of moving and trying to make ends meet, I really can't fork up the $$. I am so grateful for the support I have received so far. Without it I'm sure I would have lost it already. But with your help I'm trying to keep my head high and get through this in the most graceful and mature way. This community beats IC for sure!
