i feel for your daughter, too, rick. it's pretty common for kids to show their emotional distress over their parents marital problems by tanking in school. i hope you can consider that. and i'm glad you are giving yourself credit for being a good father.
in my first marriage, my former W would complain that i did not care about her. that really frustrated me since i knew i did. yet - as i later learned - i was showing care in dollars whereas where she grew up care was shown in euros - if you get what i mean. my efforts at care did not translate well because she did not associate those things with caring behaviors. so ever since then i've tried more to understand how to translate my good intentions and love into a form the other person regards as such. clumsily at times, i might add!
so - it's possible that there is or was more of that there with your W then you recognize. plus, "quiet, stoic and proud" probably has a harder time showing their care and regard in any currency!
i do hope that, for everyone's sake - you can be the proactive one to create some room and space and help take some of the tension away for all. btw, where do you and W sleep in your household?
