onyourside I think the biggest trigger is the feeling that she does not care. I know she cares she has told me so even when this all happened. But her actions say something different to me. I have always complained to her about it and I now know that my expectations were off. She is who she is. I am still working on not being resentful. I have to say that living under these circumstances is really really hard and crazy.
The thing is that latetly I have been thinking back as to when we met. She had recently broken up with her BF.( I was also M at that time). Not sure if she broke up before or while with me. But she never spoke about him or any feelings it was as if he never existed. So I get the feeling that she will do the same to me. So I guess I go into fight/flight mode?
I really think that she has wanted to be free since 2009 and my outburst over the summer was the catalyst. She is very quiet, stoic, and proud. I am the opposite, loud and emotional. But have managed to keep it in check for the past few months. So that is where my head is at today. Thanks for checking in
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
