***Does anyone have any ideas on how to handle OW (I made a long post about her earlier today, but it got overlooked by 'his lie' post.) I want to know how I can aim his eyes back at me, even with all the flattery he gets from her- and obviously feels the need to lie about being around her for some reason (guilt? shame? avoid conflict?)
I don't have an fabulous ideas for you but to sort of echo what others have said, its probably best 'not handled' by you at all. I have a funny feeling that this woman's flattery will soon prove suffocating when your H is overwhelmed by her neediness and his impending deployment. I know you've been through deployments before, (and this one I'm going through is only my first and I failed miserably so what the h3ll do I know! lol) but from what I hear from my ex, as well as my friend's H who have gone, as well as my co-workers, they don't *want* to have to focus on others needs as much as they are preparing mentally to go over there. And I would think the last thing they want is to have someone who they are constantly worried about back home. I could be totally off base but if this woman has never truly been on her own before, she will become too much for him pretty quickly (given your special circumstances).
And one of the things I have been taught in T when dealing with a lying SO is to ask yourself, in the grand scheme of things, putting aside [for a moment] the sting of being lied to, does the actual lie really and truly change anything? I don't mean for one second that lying is OKAY in any manner, but right now, with what your trying to accomplish, I think it would be easier on YOU if you could take this little nugget of info and fold the piece of paper and put it in a box in your underwear drawer. Don't forget it, just keep it locked away. Let it be a tool that you use to keep yourself eyes-open and sharp but I don't think it's really a massive deal. I hope I make sense there, it's early here for me! lol Have an awesome day!
