i suppose sometimes not knowing the truth is more comforting than knowing it... turns out, and i acquired this information through means which are unethical, she is projecting all of her issues onto me so that she doesn't have to face and deal with them, blaming and shaming me and actively wants me to suffer my my trauma disorder so that she can feel better about herself. it's disgusting since she knows exactly how that trauma disorder arose. i can't believe it really. even were there some possibility of repairing this relationship it is clear now that i've been played all along in some manner... controlled, used and manipulated and when i wouldn't or couldn't play the role any longer, she was done with me and delights in my suffering so that she feels better about herself. i'm appalled.
