i have had a pretty sad few days and when i woke up this morning i felt like more of a new person. like today was the first day of the new me (and then i got in minor car accident...great....i'm ok just fender damage - and H was the first person who phoned me to see if i was ok). i do know that i 100% want him back. i felt that when i work up this morning i was ready to let him go and if he comes back its meant to be.
when he called me we had a cordial conversation about meeting up this weekend to talk finances etc. I think him moving out on his own is going to be the best thing to happen here. our last correspondence was via email today and i wanted to use it to put all the hostility behind us. I told him i don't want to talk about the relationship anymore and because i care for him so much i am ok with his decision to move on and out essentially. I did ask him to not hide behind emails and give me the respect of dealing with things in an adult matter. i also paved the way home as they say. in all of our previous conversations i have slammed the door shut pretty tight. but i told him thats not what i want. i told him that time will tell to what capacity i will be willing to let him back into my life. I also asked him to follow his heart and be true to his feeling whatever that means.
i feel like i have gotten everything out.....now i am working on me (seeing IC pretty intensively) and almost done reading DB and plan on committing 100% to it. I want him back and thats it.
please keep giving me support, whether that be harsh or supportive....but i feel in a much better place today...like i'm letting go....but i still have hope ...if that makes any sense
