Here it is: Went through divorce in '06. This board helped me through the darkest times.
Met someone new and we moved fast. It was wonderful. No children together but I had two (two boys 7 & 11) and she had one (6 year old boy) from previous marages. Her boy never took to me. He would throw things at me: shoes, books, etc. We broke up for a week last August but got back together when I promissed to stay on my meds (diagnosed with bi-polar earlier last year) and not drink. Was doing really good until end of November / early December. Went off the meds. Thought I was doing ok.
I started getting angry. Outbursts. Never hit her or threatened her in any way but I would get angry. Mostly due to her son's behavior. Came to a head the day after Christmas. At a restaurant and her son said hey Jack then squirted the ketchup bottle in my face. I lost it right there in the restaurant.
Needless to say that was the final straw for her. I know I screwed up real bad. Went back on my meds btw. I broke all the rules and begged her to take me back. Forced her to make a decision. She called me today and told me to come get my stuff out of the house when she is not there this weekend.
I am in so much pain right now. I haven't been eating. Throwing up every day. I can't believe I messed up again. I am being real hard on myself. Crazy thoughts. I need help. I lost my insurance so I can't afford therapy. I just can't believe I threw it all away again. 40 years old and sleeping on my parents couch. I am such a loser.
