I hope you don't mind me intruding on your thread. I was just checking out the other boards and read your most current thread.
I am just wanting to show you some gratitude as your sitch has brought up many memories that I have shoved aside regarding my own. I found just reading yours, has really helped me. So selfishly, thank you very much from the bottom of my heart.
Reading through the anger issues that you're going through in response to your H PA shocked me back into a time before my SO deployed. THIS is how I used to treat him. And the response your H gives you? This is how he used to respond to me. Not forever, but he would try at first to be so understanding. Only I was like this to him over not even a EA, but rather telling a few women in a bar that he was single, when we were together. THEN I used to get this mad with him perhaps on a weekly, sometimes on a DAILY basis regarding his EX wife. It's called retroactive jealousy. I couldn't help myself. It was like I was two people. It took the rupture of our relationship to make me seek help. Now that I have the proper tools, I not only can deal with this stuff, but some of it (ex wife jealousy) doesn't even matter to me anymore. He wasn't perfect, and he made some serious mistakes, but I was *horrible* and he tried to deal with me. So I thank you for the reminder of what I put him through, as I try to stumble through my breakup. Best of luck to you and you sound like a great person who has a great H. 111
Thanks.... you've given me much to think about as well. I don't expect my h to be forever understanding, or that this anger is something that can go on indefinitely. I was talking about this at the appt yesterday... about how important it is to learn how to handle it in a more healthy way.
To be honest, it scares the hell out of me. I don't feel like myself when it comes to the surface.
