I guess i am partially wound up because I have an initial court appearance with w and Ls wednesday. It's to go over how much child support and spousal maintenance I will have to give her.---She is not the enemy and the court doesn't need to dictate when I (or my wife) can see our S.
Every "real" step like this we take on the D path really bums me out and causes me to lose hope. You assume she feels nothing. I don't.
I wish Wednesday didn't have to happen. I hope I am strong enough to get through it bravely and without emotion. Stay strong, don't hide how you feel but keep it together, and know that she's hurting too. That may help you...
I wonder if my w is feeling anxious about it like me. YES I BELIEVE THIS ABSOLUTELY
Of course, she won't be writing me monthly checks, so I would guess she has little to truly fear. Seems like all upside for her - financially anyway. you really think that's how she sees it? I don't. I think she feels crappy right now and among other things that sadden her, she misses son...which I'm sure is true. But she's freaking out also...and she has the 2nd thoughts and self doubts to cope with as well, which you do not.
A WAS always has to 2nd guess their choice to leave.
IF they see the LBSer actually change for real, they'll ask themselves if they should have stayed...
or they'll ask themselves if the LBSer really would have made those changes last for THEM and over time
And they'll wonder if they should have tried once more...
they will 2nd guess their choice. Every time a new r goes bad or an event with son happens and he asks for you or misses you, or YOU have another child, or she does, she will wonder... You, the LBSer have no choice. You must make the best of a bad situation and learn from it and move forward being the best person you can be, and leave the results up to God.
The LBSer who works on themself can be at peace, but the WAS who sees real change in their former spouse, can never completely stop wondering..."what if?"
Bad way to think of it, but I am in a fairly scared place right now.
Crimson
yep it's a bad way to think about it. You've done your best so tomorrow, be your best - and leave the outcome up to HIM...he knows what's going on...and we are
sending you prayers and hugs
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
