Light at the end of the tunnel......

[NYCPeter]

What does that look like ?

How will you know when you are there ?

It looks like a situation where I make decisions based on what I think is best for me ande my children without worrying about what my W thinks or whether it pleases her.
For example - I want to take the girls somewhere and there is nothing else already planned - I do it. I want to purchase something on my dime - I do it. I want to go somewhere and the girls are not impacted - I do it. My W's actions are her actions, I pay no heed to them provided they do not directly impact me or the girls.
How will I know?? When I truly feel that way - when her actions no longer concern me. When I make the decisions without asking for validation or opinion from my W.

Fixed that for you...

That made me laugh... Twice

I would like for you to lay out some steps you are taking to get there...

1. Put together a post D budget, figure out what I can afford and what will need to be pared back.
2. Look at properties in my town (or likely nearby towns) that will fit my post D budget to narrow down the likely living scenario.
3. List all the service providers for D10 - Contact them and see what services they offer for single fathers with no family locally.
4. Find new hobbies, my hobbies are very much summer activities - I need to find things to do in the winter.
5. Quit smoking - I've cut back, but need to quit completely.
6. Cook a new recipe once a fortnight - I love to cook, but tend to stick to things I know I can do.

Originally Posted By: NYCPeter

I am going to respect her choices and her decisions - I can control what I can control and that is my future and how I chose to live my future.


What does that look like ????

I'm not sure what it looks like - but it would be a weight off my shoulders, if her actions are no longer a concern to me I can focus on me and my actions.

On the GAL front....

Meeting a couple of friends for beers and a burger tonight before heading home.

Have booked my flights to San Diego (I checked the family online calendar - and there are no other conflicts) - will let my W know tonight.

Re: moving out of the master bedroom - I don't want this to sound like an excuse. My D10 wakes up in the middle of the night, one of us usually brings her upstairs from the girls bedroom to the spare room (directly across from our bedroom) and lies with her until she falls asleep.

I need to discuss with my W how we are going to handle this if I move to the spare room as
1. We don't want D7 to wake up if we leave her in the girls room.
2. We don't want her to get used to sleeping alongside someone - it's a hard habit to break.

I'm sure we can come up with a solution (matress in master bedroom or something along those lines).