Indecision and the affair continues (Part 2)

[Nblost]

Here's the crazy thing...I'm feeling so detached that I don't even think I care what H thinks. I guess I would want him to know I have a life and outside interests.

I am not sure what's going on with me. I think I met the new guy which showed me life could be a lot better down the road. I think I'm so tired of thinking about H and OW that I struggle to care anymore. And, I'm kind of blocking out the reality of telling the kids we're separating...which will probably happen next week.

I should probably call my IC and talk to her.

I guess I have accepted my situation for what it is and I can't go on living in a marriage like this. I am hopefully at the right point for "going dark" or the more extreme LRT because that's what I am doing and I'm honestly not sure if I want H back at this point.

In a way, I just want to be on my own and building a new life.

The other crazy thing is that H has admitted he's told OW a bunch of lies to make her believe that he isn't hurting his kids or family by staying in her city all the time. Now would be the time where I could probably send her a note or bust him on it...but I'm not even really tempted to do that.

Like I said, I almost feel like something is wrong with me...or maybe this is when you know you've had enough.