Around that bad, oh yeah the verbal stuff was worse than that bad and then I realized I had further stuff on top of that. I was a friendly drunk, but what would have added to the problem would have been my amorous compliments to W that should have been being given in a sober state. I got away from the drinking environment about 18 months ago when I decided to stop hanging around with that group of friends. This behaviour is finished.
Ok so this was how you behaved.
Why?
Simple question that has a complicated answer.
A necessary answer though. You say the behavior is finished and I applaud that you want it to be finished. Old habits, old behaviors, have a way of coming back to us when we least expect it.
The best way to stop them is to recognize the whys involved.
What is the root of the behavior.
What are the "triggers" for the behavior.
3,
I may be a little dense but what is SL?
Mach is right, you gloss over things.
You glossed over the how bad, you glossed over the forgivness issue.
I see that Onyourside doesn't believe that it is something that you need to decide right now. I disagree.
You need to decide now if you want to forgive her, if you believe that you can forgive her (and yourself, which you will learn as you delve into your role in all of this) and then, if your answer is yes (regardless of anything she does or does not do), you need to begin finding the way that will work for you to enact that forgivness.
My STBX can't find forgivness. He feels that he doesn't need to forgive people if he can just detatch himself emotionally from them. Makes for very shallow relationships.
It really is a very important question. You may find that it is something you can't do, but you have to decide if you are even committed to trying first.
Otherwise, you are just wasting your time.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
