Hey JB, How are things going? Was the weather nice enough there this weekend to get a good ride in?
Hey gunny. I just keep on keepin' on. I had my S over the weekend, so I took my long ride on Thursday night. I got in a couple of short rides over the weekend.
Hey jb, saw the movie Ides of March over the weekend and thought of you. Lots of exteriors shot in Cincy, which I guess is full circle for George Clooney. I can remember watching Nick Clooney doing the news.
Hope all is well with you.
Pretty cool, labug. I'd say I'm doing about as well or better than expected given my situation.
Hey JB I noticed that after a while people post less and less? I latetly prefer to post and help others that post about my own sitch. Wonder what that means? Hope you are well. Next time you have the ladies over how bout a bike shaped cake? That would be cool
Rick, a bike shaped cake? You're pretty funny.
I think I've been posting a little less for a couple of reasons. I was starting to notice it was taking a lot of time. Quite frankly, it was cutting in my GAL'ing and/or my sleep. My situation has also morphed from a sprint into a marathon over the months. I've also been pretty busy the last few days.
Good to see you around JB and happy new year to you my friend.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
I had my S last weekend. Friday night we went out to dinner (nothing extravagant, it was just Wendy's) and just hung out and played Wii for awhile.
My W texted me on Saturday morning. She was asking if it was OK to pick up some extra paint that she wanted to use for her new apartment she's moving to. I was asleep. She showed up anyway and picked up the paint. I was ticked off about that one for ahwile. I guess she assumed it was OK. (It was OK, but I didn't like her approach) If we go all the way to D, it isn't going to work like that. I mulled it over and ultimately I decided to file that incident and not react to it. I decided not to choose that battle right now. There's bigger fish to fry. I was also a little disappointed in myself because I was asleep when she texted and was in bed when she came to the house.
Saturday turned out to be a busy day. I managed to get in a short 8.6 mi. bike ride in the early afternoon. A buddy from my Men's group came over late in the afternoon with his W and we watched the first half of the Bengals game. We then proceeded to go to a Community group together (from our church). It was cool. I already knew some of the people there from church and I made some new friends. I'm still pretty excited about meeting even some more new people. Saturday night my S had a buddy of his spend the night.
Sunday I rounded up the boys and went to church. It was another good service. I enjoyed saying hello and talking to both old and new friends on the way in and out, too. It did cross my mind that if my W and I were to ever work things out, I would have a lot of new people to introduce her to. I had a meeting for the upcoming Belize mission trip immediately after church. My S and I went out to eat after that.
I had a business trip on Monday, so my W and I made some alternate arrangements for my S. Normally he would be with me on Sunday and Monday night. Instead he was with my W on those two nights. I had offered to take him to my W's apartment on Sunday night. However, my W texted my S and said she was going to go out to eat and asked him if Dad would like to come along. I accepted the indirect invitiation. TBH though, I really didn't feel like it. I was a little flat when we were out to dinner. I wasn't quite my new self. I think I figured out I was just stressed because I still needed to prepare for my trip the next day and I wanted to get a ride in. I also had this feeling that there's no way at all that I want to go back to what we had. I really like this new life I'm building for myself. I need some more time gather more momentum that way.
I did manage to get in a ride on Sunday night - 8.6 mi. with the temperatures in the middle 30s.
Monday there was no exercise. I was on the road all day. I had to go up to Michigan for a meeting that turned out to be a little less than 2 hours long. I was able to get home in time to actually sit down and watch the last half of the Tide rolling over LSU.
Tuesday morning I was able to get in another short ride - 8.6 mi. in a frigid 31 degrees. The rest of the morning before work was just a comedy of errors. I was lucky I didn't get lost driving to my office. I was able to shake it off an rebound. Last night was my Healing Relationships group, a.k.a. Ladies' group. We had another good group meeting. I had pre-arranged to pick up my S at my W's apartment. It was her night, but we had made some alternate arrangements for the evening. I picked up my S at my W's apartment last night. It was a better than average interactions. I was probably there about 30 minutes. She packing up her apartment because she's moving this weekend. I start stringing together some pleasant interactions and going out to eat with my W and S and it starts to shake my ambivalence I've been feeling - toward her. Maybe I need to start a fight. I've been doing this too long now to mistake these events as more than small positives.
This morning it was 37 degrees and rainy. I opted for a 3 mile run.
I think the ambivalence is contuing to some extent. However, I have been feeling a little conflicted recently. I am just praying for guidance and wisdom right now.
Today my W is moving from one apartment to a new one. She was 10-15 minutes away from me, but now she'll be about 30 minutes away. Hmmm...I wonder how long it'll take before she'll get tired of driving that to pick up my S. I think I'll only be able to be so accommodating. She will still have to bring my S to school and pick him up in the evenings. The plus side for her is her job will very close. She's currently driving 40 minutes one way to work 5 days a week. I am not at all involved with move today either. Some of may recall I actually helped her move out of the house. Today I have to keep reminding myself that she's actually moving.
Catching up from last time...
Wednesday evening my S had a ton of homework. That was pretty all we did Wednesday evening. However, he had some Math homework that was a little challenging for him. I was able to make it fun for him. He seemed to really enjoy working on it together. He was just about ready to go on the Internet and find out how we could purchase some more of those kind of puzzles.
I started Thursday morning with a 8.6 mi. bike ride. It was cold, in the mid 30s, but I got it done. I had a short interaction with my W on Thursday evening when she picked him up. She just seemed really stressed. That helps my ambivalence. It's not attractive. I'm seeing both sides of DB'ing stuff now. To GAL, I went to Men's group at my church. Had another great meeting. I even set up some GAL'ing for tonight - I opened up an invitation to come over and watch some football. We also talked about maybe going out doing some backpacking or kayaking when the weather gets warmer.
Toward the end of the meeting on Thursday my S texts me and tells me my W wants me to pick him up at an alternate address. Why didn't SHE text or call? And what's with this alternate address? My mind started racing through the possibilities. I ended up calling my W. Turned out they were just at a restaurant. My W also wanted me to bring a blanket to cover a TV she had just bought or take it to my house and keep it. She parks outside so she didn't want to have the TV stolen. However, sorry , can't bail you out this time.
Yesterday I settled for a 2 mi. walk to start the day. It was COLD and windy. The temperature was 14 degrees. It was just a busy day at work. I worked from home and knocked off early so I could spend a little time with my S before my W picked him up. My W was late in picking up my S. No communication beforehand. It would've been nice to hear something from her before she came. Actually, it would be nice to hear something from her any time she coming for any reason. Yesterday evening wasn't too exciting. I ended up working all evening. I'm off on Monday and it's been a jacked up week with me going to Michigan for the day.
Today I slept pretty late. I went down and hung out at my local coffee shop in the morning. I'm getting ready to go for a hike outside. It's pretty cold out there, it's a blazing 28 degrees right now. Then, I have the guys coming over this evening for the second playoff game.
JB I think it is too cold to ride. At least for me I hate the cold. Just keep up your GALing activities and be the great dad that you are. Hope you have a great day
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
On Saturday I was able to get out and hike for 4.5 miles. Saturday evening to GAL, I had 4 of the guys from my Men's group at church over for a mini-football party. Had a great time hanging with these guys and getting to know them better.
Sunday morning I did a 2 mi. walk for exercise. Went to church. As usual, got to hang out with several newer friends after church. Sunday was just a day of catching up on household chores. My W texted me and let me know she would be bringing my S home at 3:30. Unfortunately, since I was so backed up on chores, I wasn't able to spend as much time with him as a would have liked. Had a short interaction with my W on Sunday. It was pleasant enough, but there was a little tension. She had been talking about getting a cat. I am currently left behind with a dog and two cats.
Yesterday, to GAL I took the day off work and took my S two hours North to go on a cave tour. We both enjoyed our time together. My W sent me a picture of cat she was thinking about getting via text while we were underground. I started getting ticked I decided I needed to call her about it. I ended up waiting until we got home.
The conversation actually went better than expected. I told her how I felt and she listened. She even validated. I don't think we came to a final conclusion, although I may consider finding a new home for the dog because of all the work. However, in a strange way it seemed like progress, regardless of what ultimately happens. She was trying to fix it and I just needed her to listen. Total role reversal. These little nuggets of progress lately have been shaking up my ambivalence a bit. After years of walking on eggshells I no longer have anything to lose and I'm speaking my mind more freely now. I've also heard it said before that the LBS starts taking on tendencies of the WAS after awhile - I felt like that's where I was headed, but these kind of things start pulling me back in.
This morning, I was geared up for a ride. However, the skies opened up and I ended going for a 2 mi. walk. Been feeling a little anxious today. I think the combination of a the prospect of finding a new home for a pet and all of the responsibilities are getting to me a bit today.
JB were the other 2 cats and dog hers? Don't know if you recall but we had 3 dogs and 2 ferrets. My pug was put to sleep in October and one ferret died recently. So we have 2 dogs, one ferret. My W bought D a hamster a couple of months ago and for D's birthday she got her a snake that growns to 6 feet. Yeah don't forget the horse. Maybe ours spouses should go to Vet school?
Don't let the responsibilities get to you. Remember you are in control now. Do stuff when you feel like it. Thinking of you buddy
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
She showed up anyway and picked up the paint. I was ticked off 
about that one for ahwile. I guess she assumed it was OK. (It was OK, but I didn't like her approach) If we go all the way to D, it isn't going to work like that. I mulled it over and ultimately I decided to file that incident and not react to it. I decided not to choose that battle right now. There's bigger fish to fry. I was also a little disappointed in myself because I was asleep when she texted and was in bed when she came to the house.
I already knew some of the people there from church and I made some new friends. 
I'm still pretty excited about meeting even some more new people. Saturday night my S had a buddy of his spend the night.
I've been doing this too long now to mistake these events as more than small positives.
He seemed to really enjoy working on it together. He was just about ready to go on the Internet and find out how we could purchase some more of those kind of puzzles. 
, can't bail you out this time. 