Your example of how you 'survived' 4 days, is a comfort and gives me some ideas to start trying now. I especially like how you chose to 'spin' the negatives into positives. *It's always bothered me how I come home after running errands or something- and the house is a disaster (even though it wasn't when I left) I used to say: "This house didn't look like this when I left, why does it now?" (really b!tchy, huh?!) so I just don't say anything anymore... Maybe I could 'spin' it like this in my head: My H was so busy playing and being a great dad, that cleaning up doesn't matter. And actually never say anything about it? Is that what you were talking about- look at things through "love colored glasses", instead of our normal irritated reactions?
H has mentioned that he will want to spend some time with just me and the kids before he leaves... that's 4 more months away, so we'll see if he still feels that way.
======== Today: Really proud of myself, but I feel icky. H sent me an email about a few scheduling things this week, but he also included: 'Hope last night was better with [S18mth] and GOOD LUCK on your interview today!' I only responded to the scheduling questions, and didn't fill in any details about my night or the job. (this is not what I would normally do) H never sent another email. That makes me feel icky, but I realize that if I had given a story or asked any questions, that would have been pursuing because I would have been trying to keep up the communications. It's driving me nuts not to just send him a 'how's your day going' text... but I need to detach for my own sanity.
Others have said that when they detached, their WAS started to pull back on them.... I'm highly skeptical that H will do this. But I'm counting this as day one on my *uber* detaching efforts.
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
