W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2

[MrBond]

Thanks 25yrsmlc!

Snowman, she's totally right.

What you've been seeking is validation, saying that you're doing a good job, etc. What I see is that you're going down the wrong path.

When I mention something that you disagree with, you seem to take it as a personal attack and so you ignore or come up with a snarky comment, or say that I don't "understand" your efforts, etc.

I've been in your shoes and had many people kick my @$$. 25yearsmlc was one, sandi, puppydogtails, coach, robx were others. Did I always agree with what they said? Of course not. But their 2x4's helped me to get an insight that I never had before. Even if I thought they were dead wrong, I considered what they said and took it to heart. Sometimes they were wrong, but most of the time they were right. It's a matter of being open enough to learn.

Oh I understand your efforts. And the ones that will lead you back to your W are commendable. But if you keep thinking that people (especially your W) has some sort of vendetta against you, then your sitch will not change. You keep mentioning your W is "playing games" etc. All I see is a woman who is afraid to talk to you. You do put her down alot in your posts. Re-read them.

You blast your W for her choice of going on a trip when you're doing the same. Yes it's on your S's Bday, but her justification to herself is just as valid as your justification for yours is to you. Her trip is an escape same as the other men. Your expectations are putting alot of pressure on her.

Again, it doesn't matter that YOU don't see it, SHE does. Put yourself in your W's shoes (as hard as it may be for you). It's good that you have strong opinions, but you also must respect others' as well. Especially your W's.

You married her so there must have been something you thought was worth marrying. Remember those traits. If you constantly focus on the negatives with your W, all you will feel is negative. Small positive baby steps is what will draw your W back. I do see this as being salvagable, but you need to start changing your perception.