How do I 'reveal' over emails, phone or skype?? ----------------------
You CAN do this! I did!! When we first returned from our horrible trip, I was DBing like no-ones business and it was all in this manner. Minus phone calls actually as P stopped phoning me a long time ago.
Make your emails shorter, use less explanations, be busy (or pretend to be if need be - this is EASY long distance!) If you're FB users, make sure to update your page with happy news BEFORE you tell him. IE: a simple status update of "GOT THE JOB!!!" and then wait for him to see it and then ask about it. No sappy emails, no wistful emails. Skype, WHEN you're available (don't always be!! Keep your Skype OFF!) make sure to look good, (not street walker good, but GOOD!) Make sure to update him on stuff you did on your own that you NORMALLY would have sought his help/opinion for. IE: something around the house, a decision about the kids. And make sure to give him an update like... XYZ happened, I did ABC to fix it. It turned out great! And only tell him about it once solved. DOn't try and stay bonded by asking his opinion on stuff (super tempting... I know!!!) Emails, phone calls, Skype, don't always be available. When receiving contact from him, if possible, fully digest what he says and don't respond for a while. And in the case (if there is the case..) that he sends you an email that has no open-ended questions to you. DON'T ANSWER AT ALL. Leave the ball in his court. Make sure you're super nice, but not overly, and smile alot. Re: Skype. Try to get it so that he approaches you for a Skype 'date' rather than just being online.
The above was working REALLY well for me. I blew it by finding all the online dating activities and ruining all my DBing success. DON'T falter!
One thing I've noticed, when you're long distance, the smallest amount of contact kind of 'fills your tank' and makes you feel good, validated. Well when DBing long distance, I found (in my case) that the more contact I received, the EASIER it was to stay semi-detached. Kind of like working out, once you start seeing the results, your WAY more motivated to work out more!
----------------------------------------------------------- I really hope it does. I can't ever imagine H having a hard time saying these things to himself or others.... think it will take years? Months? Will there be anyway that being in AFG (away from me and OW) will help to clarify things for him? I feel that he'll just miss her because of the 'fantasy' that he will be able to create in his mind about their R. ------ I don't know your H, but I think it will be quite the opposite. He may fantasize but A-Stan will most likely bring reality crashing down over his head like a good 2x4 should, at an much quicker pace.
He's actually said: "I'm glad you've made changes so the next guy won't have to go through what I did." (It was like a slap across my face!)
----
Ugg... Mine did too. And he also said he was so relieved I we were breaking up amicably (back in Thailand when I told him I didn't want to continue as we were). Me at this point having no idea he was on dating sites and had already mentally checked-out of our R.
