MLC?

[psalm46:10]

Still trying to deal with the mess that is MLC!
One day he talks to me, the next he doesn't. I made the mistake of getting myself sucked back in. Luckily, I recognized it quickly and was able to detach again.

So I met with his counselor last week. She said she was hopeful as he is the one who sought out counseling, and most men don't. She also told me that I was in for a long haul. Without giving me any detail, she said all I can do right now is to pray for H. He is stuck in his fear and shame.

We are meeting tonight for our first session as a couple. She scared me a bit when she talked about her plan, she said we would do a few sessions together, as he has some "things he needs to tell me." Please pray for strength for me to hear things that may not be pleasant, and to still have forgiveness in my heart.

Some days I feel it would be so much easier not to try, but to run like he is! One thing she did tell me was that I needed to stop being so hard on myself. As I was explaining to her how I have been trying so hard not to react to him, that I tend to take it out on and over-react toward my kids, she told me to give myself some grace. This situation stinks, and I don't have to handle it perfectly. Although in my eyes, anything less than the best is not good enough. And that is where God is showing me my faults. People don't expect me to be perfect, they expect me to be real. It is going to take some more work before I can get my head around that, but I'm willing to work!

I'm sure I will need to vent tomorrow after tonight's session!