not enought time and too much distance

[Mach1]

Sorry for the hi-jack...

Hey Grace with a dirty face !!!

[Grace_O]

AC,

My hi-jacking apologies also.


Mach!! Hey handsome Smooches

[gunny]

ac,
I completely agree with grace. Your decision to continue to be there for her was taken because you felt it was the right thing to do. In the future, looking back, no matter how things turn out between you two, you can always hold your head up knowing you did what you thought was the right thing, and someday, she will too, she will realize it and remember it. It might not be in a r with you, but you" have been a man, my son" (from "if" by kipling)

[Truegritter]

I guess one side of this internal argument needs to win at some point. I am finding it hard to believe that the rejection and wrongful treatment I am feeling is going to dissipate anytime soon.

That is up to you.

I can only say that my choice to stand in the face of the negative feelings I felt about the actions of my W launched me on a journey that included my accepting my own responsibility and letting her have hers...

Without attachment to me.

It does take time and courage to get there.

It means deciding for yourself what will break you.

Not what someone else decides for you.

There is a huge difference.

[any chance?]

I have firmly decided that 2012 marks the beginning of a new and different life. I have been extremely supportive and caring for my STBX throughout this ordeal, and it is very easy to feel like it was all for naught. I am trying not to do that, as Gunny and Grace are saying. I have accepted responsibility for the failure of our marriage,and the mistakes I made are very clear to me. If only I could have seen them sooner, but in the WAW world that was not to be.

I must admit to having a very hard time at this point dealing with the absolute dismissal of me and everything our R stood for by my STBX. It as if she does not care if I live or die, and that I am nothing but a bad memory that needs to be excised from her life. I think about her constantly, worry about her, wonder about her, and, yes, loving her despite all we have been through. Guess I always will. The fact that she can so easily expunge me from her life and memory cuts to the core of my soul. She has discarded absolutely everything about her previous life (except numerous mementos, photos, etc), and has apparently started a new one. The fact that the next time I hear from her will be on the phone in a judges office a week from Friday, and that I will never see or speak to her again, is absolutely mind-blowing. I feel like a huge part of my soul has been cut out, and I cannot do anything about it.

Thanks for listening. Life has to get better.

[any chance?]

Signing the papers one week from tomorrow. Wish I felt better about it. The rollercoaster continues. Am told here that I will just know when it is over. However, that seems quite out of my control. Have not talked to STBX in 2 weeks, and am just waiting for the papers from the lawyer. Guess STBX is as well.

I hope the green grass she is looking for really exists. I really do just want her to be happy, with or without me. Guess I really am a sap....

[any chance?]

So......is it waffling? I have not heard from STBX in 2 weeks, and we are slated to sign the papers a week from tomorrow. Do I contact her? Not to discuss the terms, but just a quick text to tell her I hope she is OK. Is that foolish, and I should stay dark? Am I a fool to think she even wants to hear from me?

[Valeska19]

You should stay dark!

What happened to letting ur wife go?

Ur post has fear all over it! Recognize it! Rise above it!!

((( )))

[any chance?]

Just heard from my STBX for the first time in 2 weeks. She was checking in, as the D signing is Friday. She has been back in her town for 2 weeks, and is absolutely motionless. Does nothing. Cannot motivate to look for a job. Never leaves the house. Clearly in her depression.

Am finding it very hard to just cut her off. But I am told that is what I need to do. Val is probably correct. Cannot stand to see the woman I care for in such a state. But she has no plans on coming back here. And she has her OM, although he lives 800 miles away and she has no plans to move there. When will it sink in to me that I mean nothing to her, and that I should just forget her and move on? Does that ever happen?

[any chance?]

Still struggling with how to deal with STBX, and we sign the D papers on Friday. Going to be a rough week.