I've done a lot of soul searching over the weekend - The light at the end of the tunnel I refer to - is a life where I live for myself and my girls, that I don't react to what my W says or does.
What does that look like ?
How will you know when you are there ?
Originally Posted By: NYCPeter
I'm going to keep my mouth shut and only worry about things that I can control, I am going to enjoy my time with my girls and if my W wants to join us she is welcome to - but I am not going to let my W's actions and behavior determine what I do.
Fixed that for you...
Originally Posted By: NYCPeter
By making decisions that will have a positive impact on our lives. I've started to look at the sort of properties I can get post D, I am going to investigate what support I can get for D10 in my time.
Pretty vague still..
I would like for you to lay out some steps you are taking to get there...
Goals-so to speak-so that you can monitor and track your progress.
Originally Posted By: NYCPeter
I am going to respect her choices and her decisions - I can control what I can control and that is my future and how I chose to live my future.
What does that look like ????
Originally Posted By: NYCPeter
Being a great father is my goal - if as a by-product of that my marraige is saved then great.
That starts with you buddy. I can see it happening, and it's not like you suk right now either....
It just appears that you are unsure if you are capable of that, and still look towards your spouse to validate that in you...
You don't need her permission to be a great Dad to them.
You don't need to be great either.
That is the common misnomer in this...that we have to do all of these extra things to justify being this "great Dad".
My Daughter(14) and I, have been through some though things together. I have felt the wrath of her anger towards me. She found notes that my Ex had written , and because her Mother had written them, she assumed them true. It took TIME for her to see the truth for herself, and to trust my actions toward her. What she found was that the things that she had read, started to not match up with what she saw for herself.
I wasn't the Disney parent, I didn't do ALL of the fun stuff, just so there was a distraction in her life. I was stable, and was there for her consistently. I held her accountable , she had chores and discipline in our home.
That was the difference....I was the parent, instead of the friend.
The tough times....are what makes the good times, that much better...
Don't skip the pain, it is so worth it....
Originally Posted By: NYCPeter
Moving out of the bedroom - is not something I want but I will approach my W and ask her if she feels more comfortable if we were to sleep in seperate bedrooms.
