We had our session yesterday, the PA was exposed. W stayed at her parents last night, I at home with two teens, so we could think separately. W came home the next morning late, had been to see OM at work and tell him it's over. Said she was caught at a vulnerable moment, it was a fantasy world, she wanted to get on with reparing things and he needed to go to his W and do the same. She said they both agreed it was destroying their marriages. We've had a counseling session and she was pretty matter of fact about not wanting the EA/PA anymore and is carrying fears exactly like the WAW in 25yearsmics post.
Around that bad, oh yeah the verbal stuff was worse than that bad and then I realized I had further stuff on top of that. I was a friendly drunk, but what would have added to the problem would have been my amorous compliments to W that should have been being given in a sober state. I got away from the drinking environment about 18 months ago when I decided to stop hanging around with that group of friends. This behaviour is finished.
We're at home together now talking, we've been discussing how OM will still pursue her, and she's been pretty open is asking how to handle that. He's in a different department, she's going to have someone else deal with him from a business perspective, and be blunt with him about leaving her alone now. She loves her job and friends there and quitting would be devastating and isolating for her so I'm just waiting to get the concerns I have around this up in our next counseling session. Trying not to overpursue resolution and she's off work this week anyway.
Neither of us have decided that it can work for sure. I have trust issues and potentially SL going forward, she doesn't know if she can buy into my changes. But at least she seems to be in a state where she can't work it out with the EA/PA going and what's to get help to understand herself and us.
She raised the issue of the OPs Wife and is feeling guilt over what she's done to her. I've said we need to leave that and work on us, she agrees.
I've read the first chapter of DR but my books haven't arrived yet, that will take a few more days.
