No you are not confusing me. I think I understand what you are saying. You have good self awareness, I think that is the key in piecing. You must continually tweek and check your actions and behaviors so all your progress does not regress.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11