W moving this weekend..next leg of my journey

[25yearsmlc]

Yes sayitaint so I'm afraid she's going to keep dragging this out until who knows when. Still refuses to even talk to me about what to do with S....except threw out there that she thinks it's more stable for him to be with her all the time and visit me....OK>>>> once again, I'm the primary caregiver without question. People at his preschool don't even know her. His doctor barely has met her -- I take off work when he's sick, etc.... etc....... THIS HOUSE that I am keeping is where he's lived with his mama *me* and mommy *W* since birth. \


this^^^ is the argument that a court will listen to



So let me get this WAW train of thought.....let's rip him from his mama who spends at least 5 hours of quality time with him every day, takes him to school every morning and picks him up most evenings, is remaining in his stable home with his dogs, etc....... and.... well I was musing on WTF W is thinking then I got a glimpse of what is really going on. What do you guys think of this>

She said, "I've given(given???) you everything.....my house *(seriously, I've paid half the mortgage 6 years, and am buying her out, where is the 'giving') my dogs *she has not paid one single vet bill for the past 4 or 5 years pleading poverty. Who paid the bills? Um....well....take a wild guess. PLUS she's said over and over she will be glad to get to a place with no dogs to have to take care of and that have occasional accidents in the house, etc.... So she wants the dogs? Not really....Why say it?

She is furious that I am able to afford to stay here in this nice house and she has had to take a big step down. She is just so angry at me because of that. Well hell's bells...WHO IS LEAVING????? NOT ME. You leave, you make the choices...you have the consequences.

Another thing is she keeps alluding to the fact that in our house 'my stuff' infiltrated everythign and she didn't have her own 'space' Ok, so what does that mean I asked? She said it was my TV, my furniture, my this, my that..... Hmmmmm.... I make more money. I bought the things for US -- OUR FAMILY. I never considered it 'my' stuff....To me it was ours. Space? She could have had one of two different rooms to put an office in if she had chosen and made her own kind of 'cave' but she chose not to do so. My fault? I think not.

THIS IS ALL ALIEN SPEW....SPEW HERE AND SPEW THERE...

This is going to get nasty I'm afraid and well, due to my precarious legal position with S -- I'm interviewing L's but here is my BIGGEST FEAR right now...... What if I do take her to court for custody under the case I posted. What if I lose? Then W could get back at me by refusing to let me see S AT ALL.


hear a smacking noise as I slap sense into you...


THIS IS NOT AT ALL A REASONABLE FEAR MY Friend...think this out...

so if you fight FOR your son in court, you think the court will either give you OR her SOLE custody? "Winner takes it all"? Um, no.

You think if the case says "share" she'll punish you? She can't. And That's not how I read the case. They favor stability for the child and you BOTH are in his life. At least you'd get shared custody.

You MIGHT get more (as in physical custody and SHE might get visitation) b/c of the house issues and your work schedule and parental history.
She only has one advantage and that's the piece of paper. She is not the bio mom. She's not the primary caregiver either. And her schedule does not allow her the time with him that yours does and you represent stability for him she lacks. What are YOU so afraid of? I'd be more terrified if i were HER!

But my guess would be shared custody is what happens.

If you lose, you lose primary custody but I don't see you losing all custody.

and If my guess about her new life with OW is true, she'll be happy to let you have time with him...so she gets free time! and you get S time!

so see there, you win.


I'm already at the point of suicidal tendencies when I think of losing so much time with him...to a woman who is gone Mondays and Wednesdays socially every week, Tuesdays and Thursdays every week to exercise classes and Saturday mornings to exercise classes. After the classes they usually socialize. Who has S? Give you one guess. Who feeds him dinner at night and breakfast in the morning? Who tells him stories before bed and dresses him for school? Give you one guess........ Is SHE thinking about the best interest of our son? You tell me.

So if we do sit down and try to figure out a temporary *before L* way to do things with him, do you guys have any suggestions??? I wanted to do a 3 days one week, 4 days the next. She said "I'm not going to go 3 or 4 days without seeing him" See--------FANTASYLAND. WTF am i supposed to say to all this? My head spins ------ WOW>

If she is not willing to do that many days apart (even though him switching home every night or every other night is lousy for him) then what does SHE propose?

And if you were to present HER proposal to a court with your L arguing for YOU to get custody for the reasons you listed and her listing her wishes...you might win.

I want you to Avoid giving in too much away unless your L (the new specilast you'll hire) tells you to do so. See, If a court sees that the parties agreed to something in writing then why go to court? They'll probably approve the written agreement if you both go along with it. Why reinvent the wheel?

They'll say "this worked for you, so what's the problem?" Which means you won't get more than you agree to now, you can only get less, imo. Be wary of agreeing to something you hate or think is extra bad for S.

Some of this will bum him out but remember not to project your pain onto him. Our kids found most moves to be "adventures" at that age. Later on, they complained that moving so much made them "the new kid" so often they felt a tad scarred by it.(Of course it's only now that I learned this...:( )

but you are not there yet. Don't borrow trouble from the future so much!

Get your legal ducks in a row, and keep moving in a forward direction...you will get through this. And I think you'll have a lot of time with him.

Figure out what is half and half-sounds like you did. Okay so since you intend to vigorously defend your legal interests (and tell her to look up that case if you think she'll avoid it but believe you ) maybe she'll wake up.


She's under the mistaken belief that SHE is "giving" you something you are not entitled to. I don't believe she's right. But that is symptomatic of her approach to all this.

(SIDENOTE: my h said some amazing things in his MLC days...very one sided views and some things I had never imagined. On our first date I told him that I had wanted to go into poliitcs. In 2005 H told me he could "not believe am not in the Senate by now"....as in United States Senate.

very disappointed in me for not achieving a goal I mentioned once at age 19 and then modified. Why? Oh b/c of 3 kids I raised mostly as a single parent AND having an AWOL h, and what else??? OH A JOB and demanding career and a revulsion at the political places I worked...did I tell h that at the time? YES![i] He knew my goals had evolved but his vision of what HE wanted for me had not. Alien MLC poop... I get mad again just thinking about it.

Hey, the case mostly helps you. but asking her to read it, I caution this b/c some people can't read the actual holdings of the court and when they read AN argument they like, they think that's the courts holdings...not so...just the court babbling...

Don't worry and I won't keep babbling myself now.