I guess i am partially wound up because I have an initial court appearance with w and Ls wednesday. It's to go over how much child support and spousal maintenance I will have to give her. Along with my retirement accounts and company stock options (we have not had an IPO yet)
I am so not looking forward to looking across a table in a courtroom and seeing my w as an adversary. The whole concept seems surreal. I love her. She is not the enemy and the court doesn't need to dictate when I (or my wife) can see our S.
Every "real" step like this we take on the D path really bums me out and causes me to lose hope. I wish Wednesday didn't have to happen. I hope I am strong enough to get through it bravely and without emotion. I wonder if my w is feeling anxious about it like me. Of course, she won't be writing me monthly checks, so I would guess she has little to truly fear. Seems like all upside for her - financially anyway.
Bad way to think of it, but I am in a fairly scared place right now.
