W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2

[25yearsmlc]

Snowman

I'm sorry you got papers...FYI - in this state about 1/3 of divorces that get filed are never completed...so don't lose all hope yet.


just curious, with all the talk about your w going to c, and yet not going...have you sought out counselling for your issues?

You mention that you have some and are changing but I never saw a single 180 listed...at least not in this thread..

But really look inward, bravely and dig deep, b/c that's where the real journey is.

And listen to what Bond says...to me, you do come off as hyper bossy and controlling and on this thread, you see nearly every single thing your w does, in the most negative light possible.

And you make most of it about you...no offense but that is how it hit me.

If her aunt is paying for her trip to London, why does that take away from you? B/c you get your son for more nights? Okay...she told you this in response to you telling her you were going to Hawaii without son, right? Soooo....Why is it fair for you but not for her?

You pushed for r talks on the anniversary or at a dinner, but I didn't get that's what she wanted at all. She agreed to it after you kept asking and then you did the anti-DB way and pushed her for R talk and then found it "less than satisfactory". IF all you two do is have R talk and no fun or companionhip, is it so surprsing?

See to ME you have not been at this very long...but your m is shorter so maybe that's the difference.

I think she felt pressured. Not that you "bully" her but you do come across on this thread as very forceful...and critical and impatient. Sorry!!

When your BIL criticized her, I would have preferrred that you not join in or better yet you stand up for her. I'd be anything it gets back to her, eventually, that you chimed in...he was destructive to call you as well but he wanted to get an ally against her. How healthy is that?

Remember one thing.

If your w does not believe marriage to you can change and be better and different,

she won't come back. Simple...not easy, but not complicated.

So how are you revealing the changes that would occur in your own behavior?


what are your 180s and the traits you are working to change in you?