Light at the end of the tunnel......

[NYCPeter]

The link to my previous thread is here

I've done a lot of soul searching over the weekend - The light at the end of the tunnel I refer to - is a life where I live for myself and my girls, that I don't react to what my W says or does.

YOU have a choice of to whom you listen
YOU have a choice of who you choose to confide in,
YOU have a choice of which truths YOU choose to believe in.....
You are STILL looking toward her to validate your choices....

How are you going to address these things ?????

What does addressing these things look like to you ???

I'm going to keep my mouth shut and only worry about things that I can control, I am going to enjoy my time with my girls and if my W wants to join us she is welcome to - but I am not going to let my W's actions and behavior determine what I do.

HOW ARE YOU PLANNING ON GETTING THERE ??????

By making decisions that will have a positive impact on our lives. I've started to look at the sort of properties I can get post D, I am going to investigate what support I can get for D10 in my time.

Not accepting her choices, and her decisions goes against your very stand right now. You say that you love her, yet you choose to disrespect every want that she has come to you with.

That in no way, shape or form mean to lay down and let her run the steam roller over you ass either.

Stand up and do what is right for you, and what is right for your girls will follow that....

Let your actions start matching your words....

I am going to respect her choices and her decisions - I can control what I can control and that is my future and how I chose to live my future.

and as she is reminded of what a great father you are, I cannot imagine her staying resolute forever.

But then, where will YOU be then? Stay in forward motion and when she revisits things with you, you can assess THEN...

stay strong.

Being a great father is my goal - if as a by-product of that my marraige is saved then great.

Journaling....

Had a pretty good weekend - I spent it with the girls as my W was working Sat & Sun. We went to the mall, went bowling and cooked dinners etc. Really great time. just me and the girls.

W took D7 skiing today - I stayed home with D10 and we played, went to the mall (my daughter loves to be in her walker and it's too cold to be outside this time of year) and watched TV. I had dinner ready when they came back from skiing - only comment from W - "it needs more salt" - erm ok, add some!

W told me yesterday that she's asking L to send me letter this week outlining what she wants out of D financially, alimony is quite a bit more than I was expecting to pay. I told her when I receive the details I will send them to my L for review and he'll advise me of the next steps.

Re: moving out of the house or the bedroom - My W has not explicitly stated to me that she wants either of these things, though obviously a pending D indicates that she does want both. I will not move out of the house, this takes my time away from the girls and for financial reasons makes no sense.

Moving out of the bedroom - is not something I want but I will approach my W and ask her if she feels more comfortable if we were to sleep in seperate bedrooms.

Peace everyone.