Well I'm a mixed bag of emotions right now. WAW and I had a couple decent months with a few signs of her softening and yesterday their was an argument that has led her to be short and have her guard up again which is very frustrating and painful.
We have been communicating well and I was sensing a tiny bit of flirtaion by her. I reciprocated slightly but still kept mostly neutral and didn't pursue. I'm now unsure whether I should have acted more affectionate or flirtatious instead of just playing it cool. I can't decipher if she feels safer because of my detaching and is opening up or if she is risking putting herself out there to see if we still have that connection.
The argument (I wouldn't even consider it an argument, it was a few brief comments in front of the kids but it definitely caused her to shut down due to anger) resulted from a situation that has caused arguments in the past. My WAW came to my house where I was with the kids the previous day and night and that morning. She came over around 2pm and she started cooking as she said she was going to make dinner.
We were talking and smart-allickly flirting w/ each other for about a half hour. She then said she was going to run something down to my neighbor who is also her best friend and is also just recently seperating from her H. Well, she was gone for 2.5 hours and my kids and I were joking and making remarks about it. "what's the over/under mom comes back" My WAW and I have gotten in arguments in the past when she says she is going to run down to the neighbors real quick and dissapears for a long while.
So she gets back and my oldest son gives her ish for being gone so long and she says something along the lines of "well you guys were watching football and didn't make an effort to talk w/ me." I said I hardly watched any football as I was doing laundry and organzing my youngest son's closet with him and also played and built a play town with him. I then said something like "maybe you should make a little more effort" and she got pissed.
The rest of the night she barely spoke and it carried into today where she again barely communicated with me. I obviously have not detached as much as I thought because I'm feeling really upset about this. I feel like I need to grow a pair and speak up for myself but also worry that when I make comments like this or something that may hurt her feelings then it sets us back. I feel like she is too sensitive but I realize I could of handled this much better.
I can't decide if I should give her a few days to see where she is and if the same say something like, "I've noticed you seem a little different towards me the past few days, is their anything you want to share with me"? Or if I should try to detach even further? My paranoid side thinks that she was beginning to soften and maybe open herself up and then bam I say something she interpreted as controlling or hurtful and is saying to herself "I knew I shouldn't have opened up"
This ish seems like such cruel and difficult times for people like us who have put in so much time improving ourselves and walking on the high road.
