The "what if's" that you are going through, and that want to temperature check is all traced back to fear.
Fear of what ?
Mostly all of the fears that you have inside of you.
The fear of failure
The fear of your son growing up in a Divorced home
Actually, the fear of success is the one you may be going through right now.
You are so afraid that if you take a step toward the positive, without her, you are choosing to keep yourself locked in that basement, giving yourself every available excuse to stay there.
Taking steps toward your happiness is all part of forgiving yourself through this.
YOUR guilt in the breakdown of the relationship is probably part of that.
Do you feel guilty when you are happy ?
You taking steps to being happy, should in no way be tied to what she does or how she feels.
Being happy, is a lighthouse that can attract people to you.
What she chooses to see or do, is entirely up to her.
Do you really want her to have that much power over your emotions ???
