I didn't read your thread in Newcomers. I might get over there to do that.
I have always said call it whatever you want. MLC? I guess you see some similarities with some WAS.
I think maybe pointing to a reason can help. My W? childhood sexual abuse.
Reason she is in crisis? Yup. Excuse? No f-ing way.
That is the danger that 25 speaks of. Don't get caught up in solving their problems. Whatever you decide to call them.
YOU DID contribute to the demise of your M. The sooner you accept that and get busy on the why's in the mirror the better off you'll be.
What you have to figure out quick is:
Are you going to let yourself and your choices be defined by the actions or reactions of your W?
Or
Will you decide what you believe in yourself. Decide what you meant when you said your vows. Decide that when you look in the mirror DESPITE what your W is choosing right now...
That you see a man living his own choice based on his own values.
You can be victim or victor and what is cool is you get to decide.
But it is not ground that is easily tread.
What are you willing to do if you are not guaranteed your M can be saved?
The only statistic you control is whether you save yourself.
And maybe. MAYBE. Your W will see that man you aspire to be and decide to save your M with you.
How can you get busy on that?
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
