But Wii, they have NO RELATIONS until they are married!! And if we had what she called "carnal thoughts" around her (we were a sexual crude bunch at work) she would would scold us:)
So, there is pluses and minuses. You might want to see how strongly she feels about these things......
It's funny because when I first started dating STBX she was a born again Christian...and I was not. I was told very early on that I wasn't getting any! But, thanks to the creativity which the Lord has blessed each of us with we found many fulfilling ways to ...uh, well you know. Anyway, maybe I'll propose some chat sex and see how that goes...how would you even do that? Ok, maybe not then lol. Another funny coincidence is that this new lady has the same biblical screen name as Bookkeeper, with a slight variation. She also put her pictures up and then yanked them the next day...just like bookkeeper did. Weird. All I know is that when they do that they cut down their contacts by 80%, I'm cool with that!
Maggot was a Seventh Day Adventist. No sex until they're married. ha! Never stopped her from screwing around with someone's husband and father! UGH!
I don't care what religion you are - morals & ethics are a whole different thing.
Wii - are you purposely choosing women of a certain religion or ethnicity? Sure seems like it. If I chose only the guys who I thought would be a better fit for me - Josh would never have come into my life.
Keep your heart and mind open to all possibilities. Sure - you don't want someone so diverse that it would never work but there are many many available women who are not Asian or deeply religious that could be perfect for you.
Thanks Barb. I don't pick 'em cuz they're deeply religious, in fact, I have no idea whether SDA Lady is deeply religious or not. Hey, If she believes in love, forgiveness, gratitude etc then we have no problem. If she is into counting the sins of others and has a black and white attitude to life then we're not a match! The only way to know such things is to talk to the person. Now, as far as ethnicity, I reach out to all types of women. Admittedly, I have a preference for Asian women, usually Filipinas. The reason the women I discuss on this thread are Filipina is because 70% of the ones I email respond to me, other women don't. For some reason, I'm hot with the Pinay lol. Thanks for your thought "keep you heart and mind open to all possibilities" I like that
SDA lady and I emailed tonight for about 40 - 50 minutes. It's so hard to get a rapport going with someone through stupid emails. You send the email,then you have to wait for a reply and then do it all over again...back and forth, back and forth. But, it is what it is! Btw, her only day off is Sunday and the SDA meet on Saturdays so I guess she isn't going too often! She is looking for a new job though.
OK, question from a newbie to online dating. When you are emailing a lady, how do you know when enough is enough? When a lady wants to email and seems to be asking questions in return and replying with more than a few words I carry on. After half an hour of emailing back and forth steadily last night, our last email exchange took her 20 minutes to reply to and it occurred to me that she has other stuff to do, men to browse or talk to, not just me! So I signed off and went to do other stuff. When I returned she'd answered my question and said "nice talking to you, goodnite" and was gone. I just replied "Goodnight M, have a nice day off tomorrow!" This morning I did email her some info on a bridging program for foreign nurses, just cuz I remembered it. She was a nurse back home but a live in caregiver here and not loving it! Tonight I think I'll not contact her if she's online. She only comes on between 11-12 pm daily and I'm taking up all her online time...maybe not good. I get excited about getting to know someone and it doesn't occur to me that I need to be strategic about these things...I s@ck at that lol! Anyway, I'll just leave her alone tonight and maybe tomorrow too. Let her look forward to my contact...that's my hope anyway! Usually I shoot for the coffee date after a few emails but I'm trying to take my time and try a different plan of attack. Am I on track here...'cuz I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing!?
There's no hard and fast rule here. You have to decide what you are comfortable with. You seem to like to email and text a lot so maybe what would be good for you wouldn't be good for someone else.
But the point of online dating is to MEET. So you need to decide how long chatting can go without meeting. Does it feel like it is leading up to it or do you think the other person is wasting your time either because A) they are timid about meeting B) they're not as interested in you but chatting is ok or C) they like the online attention but not for real.
If someone is really interested in ONLINE DATING and not just playing around - they'll agree to meet. Personally - I think after 3 or 4 chat sessions or a week or so. But that's my timeline. Or at least - the one I used to use.
Depends on the circumstances.
And yes - most people are talking to more than one person at a time. And you should be as well. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
After half an hour of emailing back and forth steadily last night, our last email exchange took her 20 minutes to reply to and it occurred to me that she has other stuff to do, men to browse or talk to, not just me! So I signed off and went to do other stuff. When I returned she'd answered my question and said "nice talking to you, goodnite" and was gone. I just replied "Goodnight M, have a nice day off tomorrow!"
Relax, Wii - chatting online is not like a regular conversation. People get interrupted by phone calls, visitors at the door, favorite tv shows, all kinds of things. Sometimes they'll say brb or something, sometimes they don't. Try not to give off the vibe that you are hanging on the computer waiting for their every word.
And try to get to that coffee date sooner rather than later. It will keep you from wasting too much time on people who turn out not to be your type.
I guess that's the thing, the way to get to know each other and see if there's anything there is to meet. Emailing and chat are done in an environment where others may be in play too, not the best environment for gauging someone. So next time I interact with her I'll go for the coffee date. We've emailed enough to know whether that makes sense or not. In the past I've gone for the coffee date real fast and three women went for it, only one I actually met because one I ditched and the other just couldn't make time right now. The other was fine with it. Bookkeeper I had to work for a week to get that coffee date. Anyway, I don't mind email but as I said above, it's not the best to communicate for too long cuz of the outside interference that can come into play. So, we'll see. SDA lady seems quite up for communication and seems to enjoy me so if she don't want to meet, I'll move on. I've still got Rambo lady in play but she hasn't returned my phone call from Friday nor has she been on the dating site since then. So, again, we'll see. If she doesn't call, text or email then I leave her in dust lol!
Well, SDA lady came on yesterday and I didn't. She responded to the info I sent her about bridging programs for foreign nurses, thanked me for sending it to her. She then told me how she'd spent her day off etc. So, this morning I sent an email asking to meet "I'd enjoy getting to know you better and to see that lovely smile in person :)". We'll see what her reply is. If she isn't ready and has no plan on how to get ready then I'll move on. I'm not here to be someone's email pal or phone buddy.
The trick, Wii - is to remain emotionally unattached. I think you get attached to the idea of these women before you even meet them. But I think you just need to try to keep it as real as you can. Chat a bit, get a feel for them then if it seems like a good possibility - ask for the meet. And it's not a date - it's a meet. Then see if you both want to meet again and maybe call it a date.
But don't sit around waiting for them.
Hey - do you have any info on getting a nurse/nanny? I was going to do that last year but ran out of time with the move. Now I'm thinking I might try it again for a few hours a day and see how it goes.
