Just to add on, now that I am thinking about it. Things have gotten to a point where she LITERALLY believes that I am happier without her - she has actually said that. I don't want her to think that I am at peace with this D, at all. I get the point of detaching, and I have made a lot of progress in that regard. But at what point is that interpreted as "lack of interest" or a true desire to be without them? I am not a pro at DB, but I feel as though that is a possibility of LRT, limiting communication and pulling back - which I have done. Am I reading all of this wrong? People can say "she already knows your feelings, no need to restate them" - but if she looks at me and thinks I am happier without her and out dating up a storm doesn't a point come up where one would need to chime in a bit? Before the the spouse just cashes in the chips because they thing YOU have moved on?
I don't know if this is the right thing to do, or if it is in accordance with DB. But I know that she DID ask for a letter or e-mail, and it is in my heart to let her know sort of where I am AND to continue working on ME.
Crimson
Rick said - that happened to me too - my W thought I was happy with my own life without her when in fact I hated not having her in my life. That means your wife sees that you have GAL an are strong enough to do so. That's good.
I would explain it to her but be very brief and concise, an make sure not to let her see a "woe is me attitude". Just tell her that you want a life with her, can see where and why there were problems before and how you have learned to deal with things better, and that you intend to make the most of your life and be the best person you can be no matter what.
I told this to my W and it worked. It worked because it was from the heart and reflected where I am as an evolved person. She will see the truth in your words maybe now or later because they are just that, the truth.
