I'm going back into councelling. I have to get out of victim mode and fast because it is destroying me. I can't seem to be able to forgive him and by not doing so, i stay tied to him.
I don't want him back, i don't want anything to do with him and i resent him for all the damage and abuse he inflicted on us. I feel fuc*ed.
I am jaleous of him. I feel like, if it wasn't for me being there and doing everything kids and house related, could he do all this crap? To this day, i feel the same. When i have a clear mind, i know his life is lacking the important "aspect of life". The family core.
When i set little goals and fail, my thinking can become negative for days. I go right back into feeling worthless and unworthy.
I WILL BEAT THIS!
Thank you for your 2x6's. Hi,hi! I'll keep you posted. For now, i have an appointment to make.
