Emotion is clouding your thoughts. And I understand that but it's not helping you. Think about what has really changed. Other than the dippy-opportunist girl, nothing. You still want your marriage, you still have your children, he's still going to AFG, he still wants to separate. Even tho he told dip-op about his "feelings" she has not taken him up on his offer.
I know you hate to hear this but control what you can control. Let them sort themselves out. As 25 said, you are giving away your power to those two. You know as well as I do that all the ruminating in the world will not change anything, all the yelling, screaming, begging and pleading in the world will not change anything. I'm not saying don't do it but give yourself 15 minutes everyday to just let it all out and then be done with it.
I asked before but I don;t know that you answered: Do you have an IC?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss