been so exhausted mentally and emotionaly but wanted to check in. She is draggng this moving out thing out....it's like a band aid. I need it to be done. She found a place jan 6, started moving things yesterday, and still not even moved any clothes. did sneak out with the washer and dryer.... i was not amused.

My main focus is what to do about S since she has REFUSED like a child to talk about how we are to handle this. Yes 25... i did tell her it MUST be in writig. By the way, the case I posted for you to read -- it IS in my state. Im not in PA--- but on the east within driving distance for EE. My family loves to do long haul drives to visit family= so from where I am to phlly, not a problem.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO worried about losing any time with S-- and W told me this am that her mom and friends have told her since she has legal rights that he shouldn't be allowed to spend the night over here.....OK. Really?? This is why i haven't posted much. All i can do is just bleed from this open wound and WORRY. Will look into new L's tomorow. this state sux-- but that one case i posted gives me some hope,even though ours was adoption not biological mom v non bio mom. Maybe that's even a good thing.

Took my prescribed anti-anxiety med --- S and W are still here tonight. Maybe the last night? She won't tell me shht so who knows????? Pain pain pain...... will lead to a stronger and better me. Maybe Ill even learn how to do things -- fix it stuff around the house. Top of my list to buy is a women's toolkit. So glad for youtube how to videos. smile I CAN do this and in the words of gloria gaynor I WILL SURVIVE>


Ya'll pray that I don't lose my S though ===he is my world and is all that really matters to me anymore. Right now I am struggling to forgive W for her nastiness....even though it's script and spew, telling me how worthless I am is pretty disheartening....

Me (f): 45
W(f) 35
T: 13 y
C: S4 adopted at birth
6-18-11 bomb: I want to break up
8-28-11 OW confirmed