what are your GAL activities and 180s? When H left me, I decided to take some classes and work on getting my accounting degree. Unfortunately this doesn't leave me much time for myself, especially since I have a 3 yr old. She is very demanding. But the weekends that I don't have her, I go to the movies or go shopping. Or I just veg on the couch watching lifetime. LOL Once I am released from the doctor, I am going to join a gym. I am excited about this.
You mentioned that you want to go dark to show change but then he calls and you cave... "b/c you miss him and...to show him...your changes..."
see how that contradicts your own plans? Yes, I do see how that contradicts. I am going to dinner tomorrow night with him and his family, but after that, I am going to fall off the face of the earth. He only wants me around when he has daughter. So I decided I needed a me weekend.
here are some GAL things I did while we lived in the interior of Alaska, with a new baby. Most of these GALs do not cost a lot and the best ones involved meeting other people. And most of them were new to me.
I learned to fly a plane and got a pilot's license (this costs)
auditioned for community theater and got cast, often, met cool new people
did stand up comedy-very therapeutic
took a pottery class
volunteered at a women's shelter and got on Bd of Directors
did PTA galore
joined Officer's Wives club (should have done that long before)
learned to cross country ski, fish for serious fish and learned to hunt big game.
edited a hunting book that later went on to become a best seller
joined a writer's group, entered a piece in a contest and won
got in great shape by working out consistently and often, Looked good
saw a good t, took Anti'D's and used a tanning booth in the winter
took a French conversation class and
an Italian Cuisine class
You'll be happier, stronger doing things that stimulate you and do not remind you of your h. This will gain you the confidence you need to know you are a good catch.
It's a paradox but clearly he is more interested in you when he's not sure of you. Do not be predictable or available with such minimal "effort" on his end.I am a predictable person and he told me he could read me like a book.
What were his complaints when he left? As in what did HE SAY?He complaint about me was because I did not trust him. But I could not get him to understand that he caused the mistrust. He said no matter how something looks, I should have trusted him. Also, I snooped. That's how I would catch him each and every time. He likes to text females all the time and I should not have a problem with this. He told me that he could not talk to me without me blowing up all the time. I have really worked on this. I have proved this to him. Because he will try and push my buttons now, but I tell myself to say calm and I do. Like the other weekend, he told me that he was interested in this female that came into his work. So he knew someone that new her. So he called them to see if she was dating anyone. And they said. Turns out she was a lesbian. Why would he tell me this? I did not get upset. I just looked at him and told him that I would appreciate if he would not say things like that to me again. He said ok. He was trying to bait me and I didn't for for it.
Were ANY of them valid? If so, work on those traits not b/c of him but b/c you don't want to have those traits -
so you are a better woman no matter what he does...
and learn to happy on your own.
Ironically it's attractive yet that's not the point.
