"I fear she WON'T be attracted to someone "enjoying life" because as I said before she will take that to mean her being gone = me being happy, so if she ever thought about coming back it would only make my life worse. Nothing could be further from the truth. How does one effectively make that point?????"
This is something I struggle with too, particularly as my H insists that he has 'ruined my life' and is a 'bad' person.
Crimson, this may be something we just can't communicate convincingly with words. As 25 says, Time + Consistent Actions may be the key here...
