of all the things you have said, the fact that your anxiety is back, in huge
and most important, you have a 13 y/o d...who is watching you.
If you go back to him b/c he's suicidal you are teaching her to take on the responsibility of another person's happiness, and a sick man at that. If you reconcile for unhealthy reasons or needs on your end, that's a life long example of what NOT to do in a r, and your d will be imprinted with it.
If you go back to him b/c he works on himself and changes and is ready to make a future with you and you want THAT, then you could leave a legacy of forgiveness in the face of redemption and that's a worthwhile legacy.
Another great legacy to leave her with, is moving on and showing her that we each create our happiness and nothing another person does will be allowed into our soul's contentment. Be happy with or without him and very possibly have a healthy happy r with another man...a different type of man and that teaches her what to look for or avoid in men...
I suspect she knows that he hurt you deeply and she was frightened it would destroy her only real parent. Then she saw you plod through it to get to a better place and there is probably more peace in her life now...don't discard that carelessly. Kids need to feel safe and stable. They don't need or want upheaval and we impose a lot of it on them.
teach her you can become centered and whole without another person.
Teach her that you will embrace your future with eagerness to know what good thing is right around the corner from you
and teach her how to be happy; that she is solely responsible for her happiness and you show her with GAL and a spiritual life of some sort, HOW to do that...
make sense?
She's watching you, make no mistake.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
